Tuesday, June 27, 2006

On Internet Dating, Part 1

I met my husband on the internet. This is becoming more and more common these days. Do you wonder how someone comes to meet their spouse on the web? Read on:

There are a lot of internet dating websites. I was very wary when I first joined one - www.christian.matchmaker.net This particular one is a Christian subset of the larger matchmaker.net website. You fill out a profile which consists of multiple choice questions. On the Christian site, these included questions about faith, which allow you to search for people based on denomination and how serious they are about their faith, etc. The rest of the profile consists of essay questions in which personality can come out. It seemed like this website would be pretty safe. I think it would be hard for some weirdo to fake having a serious relationship with God in those essay questions.

The first time I joined it, my self-esteem got a real boost. I was corresponding with three different guys (in different parts of the country) who didn't care that I have a disability. The atmosphere on Christian Matchmaker was very friendly, and people were willing to write even if they were not seriously interested in you romantically. It was fun writing back and forth, similar to the enjoyment that you can get from reading other people's blogs. But eventually, the correspondence fizzled out and we stopped writing. The next time I joined and wrote to a few more people for a while. By this time, I was getting pretty pessimistic about the whole thing.

It seems to me that people searching on the internet for a mate are looking for a "perfect match". When you don't fit the bill, they move on because they believe that they can find that perfect match. In real life, you fall in love with someone because you were friends and eventually realized that you were willing to put up with this person's faults because you love them. On the internet, that doesn't happen. The element of friendship maturing is taken out of the equation.

But, after a time, I decided that it would be fun to have a new "pen-pal" so I joined again. (You get two free weeks each time you join). That's when Denis wrote to me. To be continued....


Priscilla said...

Looking forward to hearing part 2!

I read your comment on my Ants post. Thanks for wondering where and how I was. Truth be known...I was fine, but my computer wasn't. It still isn't. We cannot get on the net at all and we don't know why.

When I managed to find use of another computer today, I started to write a post complaining about the situation...but I decided not to. There's enought negatism in the world. No one needs to read more on my blog!

Tracy said...

I agree. I'm proud of you for not complaining. :o)